Make Friends with your Inner Critic

Make Friends with your Inner Critic

When you first begin your entrepreneurial journey, it can feel a bit like being attached by a bungy cord.

For every bit of progress you make towards your goals, somehow you end up questioning whether you can actually pull off your audacious dream.

That little voice inside you is there telling you you’re not good enough, that you can’t do it, that you can’t be like those you admire.


But here’s what’s really going on…


What is actually happening is an interesting paradox, that is commonly seen in entrepreneurs, but actually happens whenever we set out to make any change.


You see as humans, we are hardwired to stay safe – it’s what we needed to ensure survival of the species – and that part of us still exists.

The paradox occurs because staying ‘safe’ and in comfort zone is at complete odds with being a successful entrepreneur. It’s all about stepping OUT of your comfort zone.


Historically the advice has been to ‘Push through’, ‘Take action’. Just do it!


But at some point your inner critic will throw a toddler tantrum and stop you in your tracks.


What can you do to stop it before it starts?

Quite simply, or not so simply, it is to make friends with your inner critic. That voice inside your head.


How To Make Friends With Your Inner Critic


  • Interrupt her – recognise the feelings first, then notice what your inner critic is saying. Then interrupt her!
  • Interrupt her by acknowledging that what she is saying is important to her purpose, but that you have a different purpose. Say ‘Thank you for keeping me safe, but I’ve got this.’
  • If none of that quietens her, then it might be time to look at hiring a mindset coach to help you.


Mindset & Message Mastery will provide you with the tools to understand what is getting in your way, on your way to success. It will help you connect the dots to Confidence, Clarity and, most importantly, Clients.


It’s Never The Right Time….

It’s Never The Right Time….

I want to capture the essence of what it feels like to be overcommitted and still say yes to a massive opportunity.

I shared with you (somewhat excitedly) on Friday night that I had taken over the reins at Coach School (if you didn’t see that message you can read it here ) and the past week and 2 weeks prior when I had to keep it quiet from you have challenged me in ways that I couldn’t imagine.

It’s been a real wrestling match with my own mindset, as well as the practical challenges of also putting together a launch for my new video series (invitation below). Throw in a sick child, a 12 year old’s birthday and my husband putting his back out, and it’s really been a perfect storm. (And it’s not over yet.)

What have I learned though?

Well, I’m not sure that the learnings are fully formulated just yet, but here are my observations…

Everything seemed to come backwards

Yes it would have been nice to have the launch complete or the insurance claim that I am progressing agreed before I committed to a major investment, but it doesn’t work that way when you are faced with an opportunity to back yourself.

Funnily enough, when I left my day job it was similar.

Both times, rationally, there was every reason not to take the leap, but the feeling inside was overwhelming to lean into the discomfort.

Business advice comes in many forms

Because this was one of the bigger decisions I’ve had to make so far, I sought out some advice. I asked my in-person mastermind, I asked my accountant, I asked experienced negotiators, and I asked my woo people.  Everyone’s point and advice were equally valid.

And at the end of the day, I trusted that feeling.

I cannot do it all myself

If I am to make the most of this opportunity, I am going to need help. Help with logistics, help with housework, help with spreading the word, help to move my body, help to make my work better, help with everything really! I’ve even sought help around my relationship recently to make sure that those things that support me best (health, family, relationship) are in tip top condition, so that I can continue to take steps forward.

It’s time to quit martyrdom.

That being said, it’s tough as we circle back round to things not coming at the right time, it’s hard to outsource when we’ve been conditioned to wait until we have everything in place first.

But even reading that back, I can see how dumb it sounds. Minds are tricky things indeed.

Going into debt

Well, wow what a learning and experience this is!  There is so much going on around this right now for me.

How I shouldn’t spend money before I have it – that’s bad.

How ‘real’ businesses run on debt for years before being successful – this is a good and grown up thing to do.

And other shifts have occurred like taking a far less emotional look at the numbers and looking realistically at what it takes to recoup the investment.  As well as really getting a sense of taking a far more birds’ eye view of the business, rather than client to client. Interesting…


So much to celebrate – bringing my plans forward. Stepping up and out in a bigger way. Excited for what the future holds. Giving myself a pat on the back for leaning in when there were so many reasons to stay where I was.

Stepping Up as a Leader

There are some things that are necessary when you uplevel. You need to communicate with people in a bigger way. People are watching what you are doing when you leap into the unknown, and they do want to hear from you. That can be tough, it feels like being pushed out onto that spotlight on the stage (however small the audience) fully unprepared (and possibly naked!) I can remember this feeling from becoming a leader in my day job too, I just have to do it.

Haters Gonna Hate

Well it hasn’t taken long for the haters to crawl out of the woodwork. I am honestly still scratching my head about this, because I just don’t understand it.  Still, I guess I’ve made it in some small way!  Just another test that will make me stronger as I continue. That’s pretty much all there is to say on that subject.  Cue ‘Shake It Off’!

I’m still learning, and navigating this new path, and I hope that my sharing has been interesting at least, if not useful. I am so incredibly grateful to have you with me. I’d love for you to leave me a comment below.

With sincere gratitude

The BIG Announcement!

The BIG Announcement!

Before I head off for this weekend I have something BIG to share with you!

First off, I am rubbish at keeping secrets! When I worked in corporate my team knew when I had to keep something from them because I hated doing it so much. And this has been just as hard to keep from you.  Which is why I am so pleased that it has taken a relatively short time to come to fruition.

So without further ado, I am thrilled and proud to be able to tell you that I am the new custodian of COACH SCHOOL.

Now for those of you who are wondering what on earth COACH SCHOOL is, let me tell you.

COACH SCHOOL is an established life coach training skills course that has been delivered all over the world for the past decade. It has been ICF Accredited and provides aspiring coaches in any field, the skills they need to not only become confident, life-changing coaches, but also give them the knowledge that they need to make their coaching business a success.

I have been a certified coach since 2006, and since then I have been figuring out how to become a successful coach for myself and it has been painful. It’s taken a lot of effort and investment, resilience and inner work to discover what it really takes to have a sustainable coaching career.

During the course of that discovery, I have also come across many providers who are skilled in their profession and have found themselves in a coaching role without the skills and qualifications to back this up. I know many strategists, healers, marketers, nutritionists, personal trainers and so many more who have found themselves uncomfortable in claiming the title ‘coach‘ without adequate training.

I have long held a vision to create an outstanding coach training experience that brings together not only the life-changing skills that world class training provides, but also the hard learned lessons of what it actually takes to create a sustainable coaching practice, and the confidence to do both.

Taking over the reins of COACH SCHOOL allows me to leap forward in that vision and begin serving coaches sooner.

Questions that you might have:

Why buy COACH SCHOOL and not develop my own materials?

Well for two reasons really.

Firstly, I have my own materials; I wrote a coaching skills course earlier this year that is designed to be delivered in person from an experiential perspective. And, quite frankly, it rocks! But, it means that my reach is small and geographical. It was always in my roadmap to create the substantial materials required to share my philosophy and ethics of coaching virtually, I just knew that it would take me a very long time to do it to the standard that I wanted for myself and my students. COACH SCHOOL has been written and developed to that standard, and shares the same philosophy and ethics as I do.

Secondly, I LOVE the name COACH SCHOOL! I have been aware of COACH SCHOOL for a long time, and I always thought that it was such a great description of what it is. When it came up for sale, I just had to investigate further and the content did not disappoint!

It is true that I could have waited and written my own material, however the parallels would have been many and when I examined the real drivers to want to do this, I realised that the only thing at play was my ego. My true driver is to educate, train, and support more coaches into the profession to support the growing number of clients. When I looked at it that way, it seemed cruel not to get this training to its students as soon as possible.

It also gave me an opportunity to think and act a whole lot bigger. What would a CEO do with this opportunity?

Is COACH SCHOOL a licensing or franchise deal?

No. I fully own COACH SCHOOL and have full rights to do whatever I want with it. No-one else has rights to use the COACH SCHOOL name or materials in this way. It is owned outright by me.

What does this mean for you?

Well, not much will change outwardly in the immediate term. I will still be talking about mindset for business, and I will still be sharing as I have been. My own programs, Above the Noise and Side-by-Side will continue as will the new, free experience I have been preparing for you called 7 Secrets To Confidence, Clarity & Clients.

But what it will mean is that you will be one step closer to realising your dream of becoming a world class coach fully supported to become successful and confident in your coaching career, if that is something that you dream of.

I will be working hard behind the scenes to ensure that COACH SCHOOL accurately represents my voice and ethics, and I will be reopening the doors just as soon as I can.

What can you do?

If you want to be kept up to date with COACH SCHOOL developments, reopening dates and any special offers, then please visit and register for updates so I can keep the communication as clean as possible.

Will you be offering discounts when COACH SCHOOL reopens?

Of course! I want you to share in my excitement. I still have a lot of things to work out with regards to delivery, pricing, assessments, certification etc so I am not in a position to share what these offers might look like right now, but there will be deals to be had.

I hope you feel just 1% as excited as me right now, and if you have more questions about COACH SCHOOL feel free to leave them in the comments, and I’ll do my best to answer them.

Yours, excitedly


Who Decided Success = 6 Figures?

Who Decided Success = 6 Figures?

I’m sorry but I missed the memo that says I am only successful if I earn 6 figures.

I must have signed up for something that I didn’t realise because apparently all I want to do is lie on a beach with my laptop, working as few hours as possible, for the biggest financial reward.

For 99% of entrepreneurs I know, that’s a crock. And here’s why.

Debunking the Myth

First of all let’s deal with the obvious, ‘6-figures’ is a meaningless measure.

What 6-figures are we actually talking about?  Is it revenue, or profit? It is perfectly possible to have a ‘6-figure business’ that is making zero profit.

The other obvious factor, what currency are we talking?

Given that my local currency (New Zealand dollars) is worth approximately half of my home country’s currency (Scotland) therefore it should be twice as easy for me to make 6 figures, but it buys me a whole heck of a lot less!

Besides, the entrepreneurs that I know and admire, wouldn’t thank you for a life without their work.

Yes, they would like space to create their new program, or write their next book. They’d like to have enough income to spend time with their children or take holidays longer than the standard 2 weeks.  Or, they are building an empire and are generating revenue to reinvest into that business to grow it to dizzying heights.

I do not know many entrepreneurs who desire to stop working, at all. Do you?

I honestly believe that the those who are using the promise of earning 6 figures to market their coaching are copping out and being lazy.

It’s like saying, would you like to be thin, or happy, or healthy? It’s a loaded question that prays on our conditioning and pulls us in.

But we are being equally lazy if we buy into that ideal without exploring what that would actually mean for us.

Key Takeaway – “6 figures as a measure is utterly meaningless”

What do you REALLY want?

It’s a tougher question than you might think!

Let me share a personal tale.

When I worked a day job, I was making the magical 6 figures. I used to refer to that job as my ‘golden handcuffs’ because I thought I needed to replace that income in order to be successful in my business!

I wrestled with it for a long time before leaving my job and my business was nowhere near generating that income (how and why are another story, but it is a similar one for many who side hustle I’m sure.)

Shortly after, I had a particularly busy day between seeing clients, reaching out for opportunities, driving to my kids’ sports games in the middle of the day, and hosting my parents from overseas.

I sank into my chair with a huge smile on my face.

THIS was exactly what I wanted to be able to do.


The freedom to plan my day, my way. To be there for my kids. To be home for my parents, not stuck in an office. To meet with clients and partners on my terms.

Let me ask you, what do you think the trappings of a 6-figure lifestyle would give you?

  • Money?
  • House?
  • Car?
  • Travel?
  • Freedom?

The thing is that most of us actually don’t want to not work.  Our work is what we are driven to do. So given the choice, we would rather develop our work and message, write a book or develop a new program over endless beach holidays.

Examine whether you are caught in ‘conditioning’ and that the 6-figure trappings are actually what YOU want, or what society wants for you first.

Then look at the reason behind the things that you do want.

Money – Money is not a driving factor in itself, which is why the 6-figure promise is tricky.

Yes we all need money to survive, but what do you really need the money for?  Is it to work less?  Is it to reinvest to take your message further?  Is it to care for others?  It is to retire your partner?  Is it for your children’s future?

For each of those statements, then ask yourself, ‘what will that look like?’ and get as detailed as you can.

For each of the ‘things’ that you described that the 6-figure lifestyle would deliver, explore what they really mean for you.

A home might mean security and health, or it could mean a status symbol and pressure to pay a mortgage.

Travel could mean adventures and knowledge, or it could mean a reward for the pressure and stress that you are under in your daily life.

Freedom could mean the choice to work or not, or it could mean the choice in every area of your life so that you don’t feel that you need to escape.

And once you have explored your answers, look at where you are already experiencing elements of what you really want, and how you are being when you have them.

What you focus on expands, so enjoy those times and you will attract more.

Key Takeaway – Understand what you REALLY want and notice where you have it already.

Turning Things On Their Head

Have you heard of the principle of Be/Do/Have?

The concept is reasonably simple; its execution can be trickier.

What we are basically doing is changing the conditioning that we have been taught over the years.

Think about it, when you were a child, you were rewarded for doing good things. The reward is something that you would then have, which would result in you being a certain way – happy, proud, recognised.

This principle is reinforced everywhere – basically it’s a message of work hard – get your reward for working hard – be happy.

It could be in your career, your health, in your relationships. The focus is on doing something, in order to have something which leads to being something.

The being is the ultimate goal. In our case ‘rich’ (again, highly subjective), ‘successful’, ‘accomplished’, ‘happy’, and all wrapped up in that perfect package…. 6 Figures.

I make my money by helping others to see things from a slightly different angle, and how different that can be. And Be/Do/Have demonstrates this beautifully.

Here is how we are conditioned to live our lives currently….


We do work, in order to have 6 figures, and only then will we be successful.

Let’s turn the paradigm and the associated conditioning on its head though…..


If we set out to BE happy or proud of our achievements, and therefore by definition, successful – it leads us to take the action (DO) that will support the feeling. Taking that action then results in HAVING what you need to support the feeling that you seek.

For example, if you seek to live a profitable purposeful life, how would you be? What feelings would you experience once you are experiencing that purposeful profitable life?

Happiness? Freedom? Fulfilment? Joy? Peace? Contentment? Confidence?

Now from that place, what actions are you more likely to take to support you in maintaining that sense of being?

Making the call? Expecting a positive result? Demonstrating resilience?

And what are the results of those actions?

Clients? Opportunities? Connections? Referrals?

Surely, that is a more appealing and magnetic draw than a meaningless number with no consideration to how you feel while you are achieving it?

And now you can see that is why the call of 6-figures is an easy marketing tactic for those coaches promising you that – on the face of it, it is measurable, but just underneath the surface, we can now see that it isn’t.

I often use this quote to describe this phenomenon:

“Do not follow in the footsteps of the masters, seek what they sought”

What this means is that no blueprint or formula is going to work unless what draws you to the end result is powerful beyond making money.  And as I mentioned before, 99% of entrepreneurs that I work and play with are not driven by money first and foremost.

Money is a tool to do more of what they love in their life and work.

Key Takeaway – When you start from BEING, you attract what you need to support that

In summary:

6 figures as a measure is utterly meaningless”

 “Understand what you REALLY want and notice where you have it already.”

When you start from BEING, you attract what you need to support that”

This article first appeared in Raspberry Magazine – you can read it here

10 Things I Did Instead Of List building

10 Things I Did Instead Of List building

“The money is in the list”

Have you heard that? I know I have….for years. It seems that the only way to create an online business, doing what you love, is to create the biggest, baddest list in all the webdom.

And, don’t get me wrong, having an engaged list is a truly great thing, but it is not the only way to make your business successful.

And it can take a lot of work.

More and more, I am speaking to people who have been focusing on the list building model solely, to build their business, and they are burnt out, feeling undervalued and disconnected from their core work and genius.

I was there last year. I had bought into the model and was spending all of my time (it felt like) creating freebie after freebie, and still not seeing my engagement numbers increase on my list.

It was utterly soul-destroying. I was working a full-time corporate job as well as putting my focus back into my business, and I spent all my free time creating content for a vacuum.

So I stopped.

I completely stopped and took stock of what I was doing.

It’s been over a year since I did any form of active list building and it’s been my best year ever.

I thought it might be helpful to share what I’ve been doing in the interim, and also the mindset shifts I’ve had, that have helped me get to a place where it feels authentic to invite more people into my sphere and onto my list again.

1. I realized that if I was focused on the traditional funnel model, it was going to take me forever and a day to get people through to where I actually got excited about working with them. (1:1) So I put my focus on attracting 1:1 clients instead at a premium price.

2. I began to engage with people in Facebook groups and offline and talked to them about what they needed.

3. I gave a lot of value in those conversations and became known for saying something different and being helpful.

4. People began to ask to work with me! No sales pitches, just a confident response, and being prepared to walk away and not compromise on my prices (that took a bit of work!)

5. I followed up with people who had expressed an interest before, and realised that I wasn’t actually bugging them. Life is so busy that things get away from people. They were genuinely happy that I reached out, and some of them hired me.

6. I got really clear on who I wanted to work with, and who I didn’t, because it’s hard enough to build a business without having out with people who aren’t going to get the best results from working with you!

7. I stopped trying to convince people to work with me (this was a MAJOR shift) and realised it’s not my responsibility to make them want to change, I can only set out what I can do and invite them to take part. I can’t, and don’t want to make them. (Refer to point 6.)

8. I set my prices higher than ever before. That began to filter people for me so I didn’t have to, and I began working with really motivated folks who got the best results.

9. I began to get referrals from said motivated folks who got great results. Yay!

10. I asked my very small list what they wanted and created a format that works for me, and my unsubscribes stopped. Every so often I’ll get an email from one of them telling me how much they appreciate my stuff, so I know that sometimes it feels like I’m in a vacuum, but people are actually reading and watching and listening.

Here are some of my key learnings from going through this process:

      • you CAN attract clients without a list
      • people want to hear from you more than you think
      • list building is a key component of your online business, but it is not the only one. Create connections and focus on building the relationships you want with your END client in mind
      • be selective about who you want to work with, AND who you want to have on your list. There’s no point in gathering thousands of contacts if they are never going to qualify to work with you
      • list building is not BAD or WRONG, but you need to be in the headspace where it serves both you, and the person that you are inviting onto your list
      • those email addresses belong to PEOPLE, real people! Ask them what they want.
      • you do not have to be held to ransom by random strangers who have done nothing more than giving you their email address. You get to make the rules.

If you have made it this far, then I truly hope that you have found this empowering and useful. I am a real person too, so leave me a comment about which activities you can apply TODAY to YOUR business, and begin to shift your focus back to serving clients rather than solely building a list.


Mindset & Message Mastery will provide you with the tools to understand what is getting in your way, on your way to success. It will help you connect the dots to Confidence, Clarity and, most importantly, Clients.