Do you ever suffer from Comparisonitis?
You know, when you just can’t help but look around and see other people who you perceive to be doing things bigger and better than you could ever do? And then you start comparing yourself to them and generally you are the one that always comes off worst, right?
Yeah, I’ve had some experience with that too.
Most of us do it.
Whether it is walking into a party and comparing yourself to everybody that’s in the room at the party.
Or whether it’s when you are trying to achieve a goal and you look around and think, well everyone else is doing so much better than I am.
Or maybe you are in business or trying to get a promotion and just feel like everybody else seems to have it nailed and you don’t.
Let me ask you this, is that useful?
Hopefully you said no.
Comparisonitis is not useful and intellectually we know that it’s not useful. But that doesn’t stop us doing it, it doesn’t stop us looking around.
- How do we get back on track?
- How do we stop looking around and get laser focused on what it is that we are trying to achieve again?
Here’s a couple of simple things that you can use when you are trying to get yourself back on track.
50 Reasons Why?
First of all, reconnect to your reasons for why you are doing what you are doing in the first place. When we set goals, generally I encourage clients to understand really why they want the goal in the first place.
Even writing 50 reasons why.
I recently undertook a program which was goal related and that was one of the exercises, write 50 reasons why you want to achieve this goal.
And it can seem a little bit overkill at the time because you are all fired up and you are like,
“yeah I’m really going to do this, I’m going to do this and I’m so excited about it, it’s going to be awesome.“
Why do I need to write 50 reasons why I want to do it?
Well, it’s exactly for that moment when you’re diverted, you’re taken off-track. When you can come back and look at the reasons why you are trying to achieve this goal, sometimes that can be enough to get you back on track and keep you focused.
There is a reason why large organisations and companies spend so much money building their mission statement and their vision statement and having these lofty goals. It’s because it works!
OK, so that’s number 1.
List your reasons why.
You are 100% unique
Then get really clear on why you are embarking on the goal first and foremost. And remember just how unique your goals, values and reasons for doing what you’re doing are.
Now if you haven’t had an experience of uncovering your core values then check out my Cultivating Confidence blog because that walks you through the process that I use with my clients to get to a very deep level of their core values.
Everybody is running their own race
There is so many cliches and bumper stickers that say the same thing.
“Don’t compare yourself to one person’s showreel”.
“Don’t compare your beginning to their middle or their end.”
That’s all great advice, as long as it’s meaningful to you.
And I think that’s the piece that is missing.
Bring that meaning back into what you are trying to do. Your reasons, your drivers, are different to everybody else, because you are unique and what makes you, YOU, no one else can replicate.
Think about that when you start looking sideways, remember that everybody has their own story, everybody is unique. What they are trying to do is possibly for a different reason than you. Because they will have their 50 reasons and you have got your 50 reasons. And there might be some overlap but it’s unlikely that you have got the same 50 reasons.
Get laser focused
When you are coming back on track and you need to pull yourself back in to get laser focused on what you are trying to achieve, remember why you are trying to do it and the fact that you are 100% unique.
I hope this has been helpful. Please let me know in the comments.
And to find out more about working with Lorraine on a one-to-one basis, please click below.