What to Change to Change Your Results

What to Change to Change Your Results

Coaching is all about getting results. It’s about changing something so that you can get different or better results and so how do you do that?

I’ve heard lots of different answers to that question. I’ve heard

  • change your behaviour to get different results,
  • change your thinking to get different results,
  • change your environment to get different results or
  • change everything to get different results.

 

Sometimes it can be quite difficult to change your behaviour or change everything and actually all we can do is change small things.

What to Change to Change Your Results

Thinking, Feeling and Body Language are all connected

One thing that really excites me is understanding the relationship between what we think, how we feel about it and our body language.

All of these things are connected, and I think we’ve lost a lot of the mind body connection. We put a lot of focus on intellectual ability and cognitive ability and that’s stopped us from realising that our thinking, feeling and body language are linked.

When you do know that they’re linked it can be really powerful.

Think of a Yellow Lemon…

Let me see if I can explain this. If I say to you think of a yellow lemon, what happens?

What to Change to Change Your Results

The vast majority of us think in pictures, so if I said think of a yellow lemon, most of you will have got a picture of a yellow lemon in your mind. Some of you may have smelt it, some of you may have got the taste of it, some of you may have got more than one thing, you might have got the picture and got some saliva happening in your mouth.

Let’s assume that you got a picture of the yellow lemon, you probably also got a feeling as well.  Your feeling might be eugh lemon or it might have been, mmm that’s refreshing, oh yes, that reminds me of holidays or something.

You get a feeling, maybe a joyful feeling maybe an eugh feeling but a feeling nonetheless, and the other thing that you might have noticed was in order to access that picture of the yellow lemon you might have shifted your body position or your eye position.

Accessing memories links to body language

Now this is where I think things are really interesting because the way that we access memories, stored experiences, pictures in our head is by the way that we use our body.

If you were thinking about something that made you sad, you probably noticed that your eyes go down, maybe your shoulders come forward.

If you wanted to access something, a memory of a time when you were really excited and really happy, you’ll notice that your eyes actually come up and your shoulders go back.

Sometimes it’s almost imperceptible but you’ll tell you’ll be able to feel little shifts, maybe in your face or your shoulders, head, your eye position.

That’s because what you’re thinking, that stored experience, the way you feel about it and your body language are all absolutely linked. If you change one, the others must change.

What to Change to Change Your Results

I get very excited about this because it means that I can do really cool things like I can make you like things that you don’t want to like, or I can make you not like things that you like a lot and would rather not like by changing the picture in your head. But that’s a little bit advanced for this blog.

To change your results, change your behaviour

It’s important for you to understand that if you want to change your results then you need to change your behaviour and your behaviour is the result of this relationship of how you store your experiences, what you feel about them and your body language.

What to Change to Change Your Results

Knowing that, the easiest thing for you to do is probably move your body. If you find yourself in a situation where you really want to change the results that you’re getting and you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed at the thought, shift your body into a position where you don’t feel overwhelmed anymore. It’s really really difficult to access sad or overwhelming feelings and memories and experiences when you’re smiling and waving your arms in the air.

This is something that I want you to play with. I want you to get playful with it.

Access those different experiences with a smile

It was my gran who first introduced me to this. My dear Nana and she used to say to me when I was sad

“smile until you feel better”

Well, at the time I just wanted to punch her in the face. But actually, it’s true because that physical shift in my face was enough for me to access different experiences which meant a different feeling, which meant a different behaviour.

If you want to change your results, play with that relationship between stored experience, feeling and body language. It will change the actions that you take and that will change the results that you get.

Let me know how you get on.

And if you would like help on changing your behaviour to change your results then click below to contact me for a Breakthrough Session.

Do you know what you need to do?

Do you know what you need to do?

Do you ever know what you need to do, but somehow you find every reason or excuse on the planet not to do it?

I do that all the time!  AND I know WHY I do it, but that doesn’t stop me.  Do you know how frustrating that is!?! I mean I can tell you that I want [insert result here – more time, more money, less fat, whatever it is] and then I go into this pattern of making excuses in my head.  I…can…actually…hear…it – those imaginary devil and angel characters playing out in my head!

Sometimes I just make a cuppa and watch.  Those are the good days, on the bad days, I get suckered in and begin believing the devil type character.

Well, I’m going to share the misery and tell you why you do it too, and then I’m going to ask you a question, ok?

You see as humans we’re not designed to stand out.  It all goes back to when we lived in tribes and there was safety in numbers. If you were outcast, well that was the worst thing that could happen to you, right? You would be all alone when you came up against that predator, or ran out of food.

So when we try to make a big change like losing weight, or getting a promotion, or starting a business, or entering that talent competition our ancient instincts go into overdrive to try and get you to stay exactly where you are…where it is safe.  And the other voice in this argument is the logical brain.

Now if you think of your instincts as a strong-willed 2 year old, and your logical brain as the smart professor then you can probably begin to see how this is going to end, right?  Have you ever tried to out-logic a strong-willed 2 year old?…

It’s unpredictable at best.

How do you weigh the odds in your favour then?

Well what I’ve discovered is that the DISCOMFORT of staying where I am needs to outweigh the discomfort of taking that next step.

Do you know what to do

 

I remember when we were shipping overseas to start a new life on the other side of the world. I lost count of the number of times that people said I was so BRAVE.

Brave?  Brave? Are you kidding?  I wasn’t brave. Brave to me would have been staying where I was when I knew I was unhappy.

The discomfort of staying where I was FAR outweighed the potential discomfort of making a mistake.

Which brings me to another common reason for not doing what we need to do – fear of failure.

Why are we so afraid of failing?  When did we learn that failing was a bad thing?  Was it at school? I honestly couldn’t tell you, and besides that’s not actually the important part.

The IMPORTANT part is changing our relationship with failure because it’s actually not that bad.

And the more I fail, the more I do.  In fact, my aim is to now FAIL FAST because I truly believe that there is no failure, only feedback.  I am an experiential learner – everything I have learned, I have learned by doing (and more often than not, by failing).

Feedback

 

We need to ditch this idea that we get one chance at things and realise that we have infinite chances provided we don’t give up!

So let me ask you…

What are you WILLING to do to get that dream?

And if that dream is to make a living from making a difference and you need some more help then click below to contact me for a Breakthrough Session.

Timing is Everything

Timing is Everything

I’m a firm believer that anything is possible…. …but it has to be the right time.

Let me tell you a story…

I’ve had a long push/pull relationship with body image like many other women.  I’m not sure when it started, probably in my teens, and since then it’s been pretty much ever-present.

Sure, I’ll rationalise it – I even wrote a book about it!  And in that book I talk about priorities and how even though we may think that we are chasing weightloss, what we are actually seeking is something even more important and connected to our core values.

And I stand by that 100%

But at some point, the priority always swings back to me wanting to lose a few pounds.

To make it stick though, the timing has to be right.

And that’s the same for anything.

But how do we know if the timing is right?

That’s the tricky part.  Because you see, we are designed for the status quo – to stay exactly where we are!

We have this ancient fear centre in our brain that is actually running the show, and whenever we want to change something, whether it be losing weight, starting a business, entering that talent show or going for promotion.  Whatever it is, your fear centre is going to kick in and give you a dozen reasons not to do that thing, for every one reason you can come up with.

The way to tell that the time is right for you is when the discomfort of staying where you are is more than the discomfort of what you need to do to change it.

Until then, that fear centre is likely to win through.

When the balance shifts the other way and the pain of the status quo seems too much to bear, then everything becomes so much easier.

The Right time to make a change

 

Oh, and by the way, the shift happened for me about 3 months ago and I am pleased to report that I am 20kgs lighter now than I was then!

If the discomfort of not making headway in your life or business is becoming more uncomfortable than taking a leap and doing what you know you need to do, then get in touch and let me help you through the process.

The Magic of Giving Yourself Two Years

The Magic of Giving Yourself Two Years

Clients ask me all the time, ‘How long will it take to be a success?’ Now of course, I can’t tell them. But what I do say is that when I got really serious about my business and knowing truly, deeply that it was how I wanted to live and make my income, I committed to showing up every…single…day for two years. It was the bargain I made with myself.  If, after those two years, I could not see a way that my business could be the success I dreamed for it, then I would walk away, knowing in my heart that I had given it my best shot.

Shifting Focus

Because up until then, I had had one foot in it, and one foot in my corporate career. Which meant that every time I got the entrepreneur blues (and we ALL get them), I would just shift focus to my career for a while.  Every single time though, I would get restless again and crave my coaching business, my writing, my teaching.

For me, giving myself those two years to make it work meant that I could release a little pressure of replacing my income and the scarcity mindset that would create.  It gave me permission to stay in my day job and use the income to invest in my business. It gave me the focus to create my own rules in what would work for me, around my commitments.  And it gave me the confidence to step up because now I had a deadline.

Create your own rules

 

The First Two Years

And over those two years I worked hard, I took clients in timezones that meant I could meet them early in the morning before I went to work, and later in the evening when I got home.  I wrote, and wrote and wrote when I was stuck in hotel rooms for work, rather than socialising, and I spent many of my lunch breaks on discovery calls, meeting with my coach or listening to webinars.

After the two years, my business wasn’t generating my day job income by a long stretch, but I knew it was time to let it go.  I had some health issues that my day job was not helping with, and I was likely to need surgery. My parents were also coming over to New Zealand from Scotland and I had no annual leave left to take while they were here for 6 weeks (which would turn out to be the last time I saw my Dad in person).  The internal pull to walk away was immeasurable, but it was so damn hard to walk away from that paycheck. (I used to call my day job my ‘golden handcuffs’. )

I remember making the decision and sitting in my kitchen just letting the tears come.  That was when I knew things had shifted.

And scary as it was, I am so glad I did.

The Next Two Years

I am now 2 more years down the track and my business is thriving.  I am working on a couple of opportunities that are also both 2 years in the making and will be the biggest and most exciting offerings that could catapult my earnings beyond my wildest dreams.

Without the patience and persistence that I have learned from my ‘2 year experiment’, these seeds would never have even been planted.

Let your business flourish

 

I have since shared this with many of my clients, and they too have prepared themselves for what seems like the long haul at the time, but often flies by.  And I am thrilled to report that many do not need to use the whole 2 years to build the momentum they need for their successful businesses, but they are prepared for it.

How about you?  Did you give yourself a couple of years to get your business off the ground?  Or, are you at the beginning stages and wondering how long it will take?

 

A tale of two entrepreneurs

A tale of two entrepreneurs

Once upon a time there were two entrepreneurs; Little Miss Perfect and Little Miss I Don’t Care

Little Miss Perfect knows how to be successful – she’s studied it. In her previous life she was a high achiever. In school she was top of her class.  At university, she worked hard, but she aced it.  And everyone told her she’d go far.

After a successful corporate career in marketing, Little Miss Perfect decided to go out on her own – she had this ‘success’ thing sorted, right?

Little Miss I Don’t Care never really shone in school. She got by, but she didn’t stand out academically. Rather than hit the books, Little Miss I Don’t Care preferred to hit the track or the social circles.

When asked what she wanted to do, Little Miss I Don’t Care knew more what she didn’t want to do, and that was be tied down to someone else’s timetable or structure.

Little Miss I Don’t Care was much more of a free spirit than that.  She knew that with the right determination and a bit of graft that she could make anything happen.

And that’s what she did.

So where are our two budding entrepreneurs today?…

Well Little Miss I Don’t Care has had her share of ups and downs, but her leaps have been great. She’s built vastly successful businesses, lost it all, and built it all back up again. She’s renowned in her field as being gutsy and taking calculated risks.  She is also very well respected and attracts interest and joint ventures from other big players.

Little Miss Perfect is adored by her friends, family and small number of clients. But she is also her industry’s best kept secret.  And that is playing havoc with her bank balance and her inner critic.  She’s not afraid of investing in personal development and knowledge but has yet to really back herself in her endeavours, and it’s stalling her progress.

Which entrepreneur are you?…

Which entrepreneur are you

 

If you are suffering from Little Miss Perfect syndrome, and it’s holding you back from the success that you know you can achieve with the RIGHT help, contact me for a Breakthrough Session.

My love/hate relationship with the internet

My love/hate relationship with the internet

I’ve got a bit of a love/hate relationship with the internet, and social media in particular.

I love it because it has given me the opportunity to really make a living from making a difference to people in every corner of the globe. I’ve made friends I would never have met without it, and I have created a location independent life that affords me freedom I have never known before.

But I hate it because it’s really tough to tell the truth from the BS that is being fed to people who are just starting out.

There ARE opportunities to be had, but more and more people are recognising that fact, and with every day it seems, it gets tougher to get going in the online business world. No longer is it enough to announce your offering and wait for the sales to roll in.

I’m grateful that I began when I did, because I made many of my mistakes when the pressure didn’t seem so intense.

What is the biggest obstacle to your success?

The truth is, that the internet really does offer amazing opportunities for connection and business building, but without knowing what it takes to really get momentum going, many amazing change makers like you, are giving up and returning to lives that don’t make their hearts sing.

You see there is more to it than just knowing your craft, or having a great website.

The biggest obstacle to your success is YOU!

The biggest obstacle to your success is you

 

And whilst it appeals to the introverts to work from behind their laptop screen – I know it did for me – you can’t escape you. The speed with which you can make it in your online business is directly related to the confidence and belief you have in yourself.  Think about it, when you truly know that something is meant to be, I bet you are a force to be reckoned with. But when there is even the slightest hint of self-doubt, where does all that confidence and action go?

The right support network

That is why it is CRUCIAL to put the necessary supports in place to ensure you have unwavering confidence about your online venture.

Necessary support

 

You need your skills for sure, but you also need:

  • Knowledge – the chances are that you do not know what you don’t know yet
  • Systems – getting organised and having systems in place will help you scale your idea quickly without tripping over the day-to-day stuff
  • Focus – it is SO tempting to look around but there you will find comparisonitis (the death knell of the online entrepreneur) and distractions you don’t need. Plan your time so that you stay focused on what you absolutely need to do right now.
  • Community – we all have ups and downs in this crazy journey. Surround yourself with likeminded people who are there in your downs, and who you can inspire in your ups. We do not grow in isolation.
  • Commitment – commit to showing up every day for the next 12 months minimum. I’m not saying it will take that long, but when you commit to a timeframe then you will weather the bumpy patches a whole lot easier.
  • Mindset – at the end of the day, it is all about you. The most successful entrepreneurs look after their minds just as well as they look after their bodies.

Once you have these key elements in place, there will be no stopping you.

Let me know how you get on.