3 Common Coaching Myths…..busted

3 Common Coaching Myths…..busted

I’ve been in the coaching field for 11 years this year, and over that time I have witnessed the growth of both the industry, and the myths that surround it.


My passion is coaching, and I want more people to embrace it both as clients, and as coaches, but I also want them to enter into coaching with their eyes wide open. I have been challenged by my friend, client and colleague Debbi Carberry to become more vocal about the truth about both coaching, and the online business of it.


Since I know that a number of my subscribers are coaches, or are planning to formalise their coaching at some point, I thought it would be useful to address some of these myths.


Here are 3 of the most common myths I see regularly:


3 Common Coaching Myths


Myth 1: You need to be an expert to coach

One of the things that I come up against whenever I am talking to people about coaching is that you need to be an expert in your field in order to be a coach.


This is absolutely not the case. In fact, you could argue that you can actually coach better if you are NOT an expert in the field that you client is looking for develop in.


How so?


Well, coaching is a set of skills that are not ‘context dependent’. That means that you can apply the same skills in ANY environment, in any context.


How does that work?


Well it works because at the heart of the philosophy of coaching is that the client has all the answers.


When you truly believe this, and work from this place, then you use the skills you have to elicit those answers from the client.


This has an interesting result for the coach and the client.


First up the client – when they embark on a coaching experience, it’s because they need help to find the answers so they expect their coach to tell them what to do. What actually happens is that their coach will help them to come up with their own solution which is far more compelling for the client.


What happens for the coach is a little different…


When they are not required to know the answer, but are confident in their ability to elicit the answer, there is no pressure to have to know anything other than the core skills of coaching. This is why even brand new coaches can get amazing life changing results for their clients.


So, this myth is BUSTED. You DO NOT have to be an expert to be a great coach.


Myth 2: You can’t make money as a coach


Aah this old chestnut.


Well the short answer is yes of course you can make money as a coach, otherwise the industry would have died many years ago, when in fact it continues to grow.


What might be a truer statement is that some coaches find it hard to make money.


With coaching being such a client led process and each client’s goals being unique, it can be a challenge for coaches to communicate their value in order to attract clients who pay well.
It can also be challenging for coaches, who are inherently ‘behind-the-scenes’ people who just want to help, to step up and promote themselves and their services.


But I have found this to be true in all ‘helping professions’.


The bottom line is that you need to DUC to make money from coaching…


    • Discover the results of your coaching
    • Understand the value that it has for your clients
    • Communicate it in a way that they can connect to

Is this myth busted? I would love to say it is, but I may have to concede that for some, it is busted.


Myth 3: Everyone can benefit from coaching

The final myth for today is that everyone is coachable – or everyone can benefit from coaching.


Sadly, that is not the case.


In order for coaching to be effective, the client must WANT to change. That’s why some coaching in organisations is less than effective.


If you have someone whose manager has sent them to be coached and they haven’t chosen coaching for themselves, then they may resist the process and therefore not get the results that they could otherwise.


That is why it is so important to pre-qualify your clients.


You see the best clients get the best results, so the best clients are the ones who are really motivated to change. And as their coach, you cannot want it more for them than they want it for themselves.


Time after time I see coaches, particularly new ones, settling for any client to work with and then being disappointed in the results of the relationship.


Instead of realising that the client wasn’t coachable, they begin to question their skills as a coach.


It’s a tricky catch-22 and the way out is to be very selective about your clients.


Don’t hunt them, you need to hire them.


You need to work out who the very best and most motivated clients are that you can help and position yourself for them so that they can find you, rather than attracting clients that are simply not coachable.


So this myth is busted – not everyone can benefit from coaching.

Why the time to act is NOW

Why the time to act is NOW

I don’t know about you but I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty fierce sales calls in the past. I make an enquiry and before I know what has happened my credit card is melting and they won’t let me off the phone until I have made a purchase. It feels pretty horrible and I always tell myself I’m never going to do that to anyone else.  So I don’t.

There is psychology behind the pressure that is applied to us by salespeople, but I think it is misunderstood. If you understand this psychology, you can have sales discussions in a more authentic way, which is what we want to do as coaches or service providers.

I had a mentor that I respected and continue to respect. I mentioned I had a sales conversation with a prospective client but they were not ready so I let them go. She said,

“No no no, you can’t let the bodies go cold!”

I was horrified. That’s everything I don’t want to stand for and I would never put people in that position. And the truth is, you don’t have to, but there is a fine line…


“Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”

What it comes back to is our psychology.

We are hard-wired to belong and to fit in. Whenever we do something that takes us outside of that, we look to find the balance again.

Do you remember Weebles? “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”

We are all like Weebles, if we try to make a change in any direction, we are hard-wired to come back to centre.


We are also hard-wired to belong.

Why is this? Going back 100,000 years we all lived in tribes and if you stood up to the leader or were different, there was a very real risk you could be outcast. That was a threat to your survival because if you met the sabre tooth tiger you were on your own, or if you ran out of food that was it.

We’re still working with 100,000 year old brains, so modern day situations can have the same effect. Anytime we want to make a big change, for example, lose weight, get a promotion, change jobs, move away or start a family, anything that is a change, means we are going to stand out.

People are going to notice us do something differently and that has the same impact as standing up to the leader of the tribe. So when you become more visible it triggers that same fear mechanism which leads to fight/ flight/ freeze.


This makes us do things that don’t make sense.

We don’t have a real threat to fight so it shows up as procrastination, picking fights with family, ambivalence. This is the fight/ flight/ freeze mechanism in action.

We sabotage the change we want to make, to keep us in homeostasis, like the Weebles.


What can we do?

It is important to know that people are hard-wired to return to the safe option. When you are looking to get an agreement with your prospective client on your connection call you can be aware of the feelings they may have.  

I tell my prospective clients when I’m speaking to them that this is going to happen. I say to them,

“You’re going to get off this call and talk yourself out of working with me. It’s natural, when that happens just notice it and say that’s what Lorraine said would happen.”


Sometimes this will also happen with retained clients. When your client is nearing the end of their current package they may tell you they can’t afford to continue working with you. There is a whole spectrum of arguments about whether money is a real objection or not, however most of us, if we truly want something, will find the money to do it.

It’s more a lack of belief in self that stops us from stepping up and investing in ourselves. It’s more a conversation that we’re having with our self saying

“I’m not worth it. I can’t do it. I’m going to be the one it doesn’t work for.”


There are three things I want to share with you in that situation:-


1. Start finding your 90% clients.

It happens a whole lot less with them.  (If you don’t know who your 90% client is, read this blog post…)


2. Reconnect people with their truth.

  • Why did they start working with you in the first place?
  • What was it they wanted to achieve?
  • How were they not doing that before they had your help?

Remind them that it’s in their DNA to revert backwards to where they were before.

Always do this with integrity. It’s not about manipulation or coercion, it’s not about pressure.

It’s about telling the truth.


3. Follow up with clients you have let go in the past.

If they said they needed a bit of a break then you can check in with them. Some of them might be ready to come back, however some may have gone back into their safe space.


I hope this inspires you to change the way you have conversations and to understand the reasons behind those high pressure sales conversations that appear to be missing the heart part of making a decision in the moment.

Remember it is the same for us, so when we are faced with the opportunity of stepping up and doing something different we are going to feel fear and experience the fight/ flight/ fear mechanism.

Bear that in mind when you’re ready to look for your next up level with your next coach, recognise the feelings and act NOW.


Mindset & Message Mastery will provide you with the tools to understand what is getting in your way, on your way to success. It will help you connect the dots to Confidence, Clarity and, most importantly, Clients.


Why the client you can help the most is not your ideal client

Why the client you can help the most is not your ideal client

Do you find yourself spending all your time on building mailing lists, working on your sales funnel, learning new software, posting on social media and designing the best website?

And then wonder where are my clients? What am I actually in business to do?

I know I did, until I took the time to revisit what was important to me in my business and I realised that it was working at the highest level to connect with and help my clients, especially my ideal clients.

“But who are my ideal clients?”

One of the most important things that I have learned since I turned my business on its head is that working at your highest level does not always mean helping those who need your help the most.

“Not helping those who need you most?”

Some of my best clients are those who I have done little actively for, because they are already 90% towards their transformation.

  • They are highly motivated
  • They are investing in themselves
  • They are incredibly connected to their vision

So I don’t need to do very much for them. The value of holding space for them is immense though.

Yet we have this conditioning that says for work to be valuable, it has to be hard – not true. I am there to guide these ‘90% clients’ and support them to complete their transformations. Many of them will come to me because I am known for turning everything on its head. Just like the way I transformed my own business.  They have gotten so far, but need my help with the vital 10%.

Be specific about the right clients for you

You can use all the right tools to build your online business, have the best mentors and follow the correct steps to grow your business but unless you are really living and investing in what you want to teach and share with others, there will be a disconnect. It is that disconnect which makes it harder for you to understand the specifics of who you need to work with to get that true transformation for them.

Once you realise this and you are able to truly live the way you want and have clarity in what is important for you in your business, then you will be able to work at your highest level. This will let you discover who your ideal clients are and how you can work with them to maximise their growth. Whilst this may be a mix of different clients, with different needs, your 90% clients can help support and build your business.

90% clients can help build your business

Not only are 90% clients easier for you to work with, they are more likely to be the clients you get the best results from and they will be the clients who will tell their friends and colleagues about you and the great work you are doing together.

Your 90% clients can really help with building a referral rich reputation as they will refer other great clients to you.


Performing at your highest level

So take the time to look inside yourself, realise where you are blocking yourself from performing at the highest level possible for you and make those changes – hint: you will likely find it at the edge of your resistance. Then you can be specific about who your 90% clients are and how best to find them.

Once you do that, you and your business will be transformed.


Mindset & Message Mastery will provide you with the tools to understand what is getting in your way, on your way to success. It will help you connect the dots to Confidence, Clarity and, most importantly, Clients.


4 Steps to staying on track

4 Steps to staying on track


As a coach the first thing I do with my new clients is to identify their goals.  After all, if we don’t know what we are working towards, how will we know when

a) we’ve reached it, or
b) we’re even on the right track?

Time and again I see people get sidetracked from their own goals into a world of marketing madness, which is really just the modern day equivalent of the wolf tempting Little Red Riding Hood off her path.  Ok, well maybe not, but it IS a distraction.

I’m pretty sure that most of you reading this are not passionate about working 90 hours a week to build funnels and websites, or understand the lingo of landing pages and FB pixels.  (And if you are, then I can connect you with some very clever people who can help you with that.)


It’s far more likely that you are passionate about making a living from making a difference.

So let’s get back to basics and set some goals that work for YOU, not just straying from the path to the next big thing in online marketing.

Because the truth is, that the people who are telling you about the next big thing, probably don’t have the same goals you do right now, so their drive and desire for the work involved are completely different.  

Now it’s beginning to make sense, right?

There are a few steps to setting goals that will keep you on track.


1. Values check-in.  

When did you last check in with what is most important to you?  Values are our moral compass, and exploring values is the first step to understanding the right goals for you.
Values and their priority change at different times in our life, so I encourage you to check in with them regularly.  You can use a tool like the Wheel of Life to check your values.


2. Creating the Vision. 

Now that you know what’s most important to you, you need to know what that value would look like at 100%.
This is where we can begin to see opportunities for goal setting.  For example, if Health is a priority value for you, then we can begin to set business goals that allow you to create more time and space for your health (I’ve been doing exactly that for this past year).
Similarly if wealth and security are high priority values, then there are goals we can set that satisfy those.  If contribution or impact are high priority values, then the goals might be different.

So you see why it is important to do that values work first?


3. Find the Resistance.

Now that you have your goals, let’s look at the smartest way to achieve them.  This is where it is enormously helpful to work with a coach.  At this point, we begin to get scared, and that’s no bad thing – if you know how to handle it.  When we want change, we trigger our internal and ancient safety instinct which wants to keep us safe at all costs.  And safe usually means staying where you are.  Pay attention to the resistance that you feel – this is your greatest opportunity for growth.

4. Chunk your goal into tiny tasks.  

The fastest way to trigger your fight/flight/freeze mechanism is by trying to do too much.
Chunk your goals into smaller blocks, and then chunk them into even smaller tasks until every step on the way to succeeding is small enough to not procrastinate over.
Did you know that procrastination and perfectionism are just moder
n day equivalents of fight/flight/freeze?
I start with a 5x5 plan: first I chunk my big goals into 5 smaller chunks, then I chunk those smaller goals into 5 tasks.  If the tasks are still large I will further chunk them down until they are manageable.


There you have it, 4 steps to staying on your own path.


The chances are that if you are spending all your time on social media and writing blogs, and that’s not clearly aligned with your priority values, that you need a different way to look at your business.  That’s why I created Mindset and Message Mastery.

Mindset & Message Mastery will provide you with the tools to understand what is getting in your way, on your way to success. It will help you connect the dots to Confidence, Clarity and, most importantly, Clients.



Building a Referral Rich Reputation

Building a Referral Rich Reputation

The online world is becoming saturated with people trying to emulate their role models’ launch formulas, and they are not getting the results they hope for – sometimes not even close.

The internet is full of claims of 6 and 7 figure launches, but what they are not sharing is the amount of profit from those launches, and the reach that people are utilising from affiliates with lists in the tens, sometimes hundreds of thousands.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some people who do well, but the majority are finding it harder and harder to make a profit from their traditional funnel and product hierarchy.

What worked just a few years ago is no longer working in the same way. We are becoming more savvy as consumers, and we have more choice than ever before.

I called it in 2015, but I think more people are ready to hear it…

The Information Age is dead.

The great news is though, that the Implementation Age is alive and well. And if your real desire is to help other people, and make an impact in the world by working with clients, premium clients first and foremost, then this is very good news indeed.

You do not need an opt-in, low, mid and premium offer to attract clients. You just don’t.

You see, the online world works a lot like the offline world.

Reputation and word of mouth are king.

I reverse engineered what it takes to create a reputation that results in clients who readily refer, get results and sometimes even write me songs as testimonials… (It’s true – you can see a client testimonial/song I received here)


There are three main themes to consider when you are building a reputation for getting great results with your clients.

– you need to be able to create a safe environment for your client to reach the best results they can. They need to feel confident in you, so you need to feel confident in you.

– it takes you getting exceptionally clear about who are the very BEST clients for you and your business. Who are the people who will get the best results from your work and approach, and will they refer more amazing clients to you?

– genuine connection and authenticity come from really getting to know those clients well.
Let’s look at the intersection of these themes…

Confidence + Clarity = Market Position

You know exactly who you are talking to and where in the market your offer fits.

Clarity + Empathy = Compelling Invitation

You can make a powerful invitation to work together when you can demonstrate your deep understanding of their challenges.

Confidence + Empathy = Authentic Engagement

When you claim your genuis and marry it with empathy for your client, you can confidently say, ‘I see you, I know what scares you the most, and I can help.’

When you understand how these themes and their intersections are connected, you can begin to really build a business filled with clients that you love, and who love you back.

When they love you back, and refer their friends and colleagues to you, that is when you have cultivated a Referral Rich Reputation.

And there is no funnel in sight.

Let me be clear, there is a place for automation in your business, and there is also a time where introduction of tiered offers becomes not only effective, but necessary.

I encourage you to think carefully though, about when that is for you.

If you are just starting out, and need to build your confidence and bank balance, then build your referral rich reputation first, before leveraging your delivery.

I’m thrilled to see more people questioning the upsell funnel model, especially when they are beginning.

Consider this your permission to do things differently, your way.

Mindset & Message Mastery will provide you with the tools to understand what is getting in your way, on your way to success. It will help you connect the dots to Confidence, Clarity and, most importantly, Clients.


10 Questions to Ask Your Coach Training Provider Before You Enrol

10 Questions to Ask Your Coach Training Provider Before You Enrol

Just as not all coaches are created equally, neither are coaching schools and training programs.  Here are 10 questions to consider or ask your coach training provider, before you enroll on your coach training certification.

1. Is the program accredited? And for how many hours?

Whilst accreditation is not a requirement for coaches, it is advisable to select a coach training program that is. This means that the program has been assessed and regularly reviewed by an external body. As with all industries that are not regulated though, there are some pitfalls to look out for.

      • Just as not all coach training programs are not created equally, neither are accreditation bodies. The requirements for accreditation vary widely from organisation to organisation, and some courses that are accredited are not as comprehensive as others.  It pays to review the criteria for each level of accreditation to ensure that you investing in a credible and comprehensive program.  The most widely respected coach accreditation body is the International Coach Federation.
      • Even with ICF accreditation there are a number of things to be aware of. There are 3 main paths to achieving credentialing with ICF; ACTP, ACSTH and the Portfolio path.  ICF requires a minimum number of coach specific training hours as a major part of credential application and those courses that are CCE or ACSTH marked may not have the minimum number of 60 hours. It pays to check if credentialing is something that you are planning for. (ACTP courses all meet that criteria)

2. How is the training delivered?

Is the course delivered in person, or online?  Check if there is a requirement for you to attend any live workshops or trainings as part of your certification. This may mean additional costs both in time and money.  It’s also important to understand how much live training is provided with online courses; are you left to study alone, or do you have mandatory class time that you need to commit to?

3. How big are the class sizes? What level of attention will I get?

Whenever you are learning a new skill, the amount of feedback that you receive whilst you are honing it, will directly impact your results.  Think of a mass exercise class vs working 1:1 with a personal trainer – the more individualised the attention, the better your form, and therefore the more confident you can be about your results.  Check to make sure that the class sizes are small, and that you get plenty of time to ask questions of your trainer.

4. What is the curriculum?

A better question may be, what is the focus of the program? Your coach training provider should be able to provide you with an outline of the topics covered so that you can see if the course fits with how you wish to use your coaching skills.  

5. What experience do the trainers have? Does the provider help you with the business end of coaching?  To what degree

Do not assume that because someone is teaching a subject that they are an expert in the subject.  Check that the lead trainer is, in fact, qualified and experienced.  Also, look for references or testimonials from their coaching clients as well as their students; teaching and coaching are not the same thing.

How much real world coaching experience has your trainer had?  And in what fields? If you are planning to launch an Executive Coaching Practice, and your trainer has never coached in a corporate environment, is that important to you? Be aware of the level of experience of your trainers, and if this information is not readily available, then ask.

Gaining your skills and certification is one thing, but what do you do with it after that?  Arguably a larger learning curve for a lot of coaches is how to take those skills and earn a living from them by consistently attracting quality clients, and learning the skills that make a business profitable.  Does your coach training provider offer this type of training as part of your course, and if so, to what degree?  

6. What practical 1:1 feedback will I get on my coaching skills?

Getting feedback on your skills as a coach is key to becoming a masterful change maker, and supervised coaching sessions are one way to receive feedback, as is peer coaching where you are coached and coach your fellow students. Be sure to ask how much feedback you will receive on your coaching skills, and by whom.

7. Can you get support after the training is complete?

Just as passing your driving test is the gateway to really learning to drive, your coaching qualification heralds the beginning of your coaching career, and there are bound to be bumps in the road as you shift into gear.  Will the organisation offer you support as you grow your coaching experience and business, and at what cost?

8. What is involved in achieving certification?

If completion of the course materials is the only prerequisite to achieving certification, then the value of the qualification is questionable. A credible course should require a level of assessment and evaluation of the coach’s skills before issuing certification. Be clear on what is required to graduate. Stringent criteria is not a bad thing, (and is a requirement of ICF accredited courses.)

9. How much does it cost?

What is the total cost of the course and options for payment? Do you need to pay extra for assessments? Is there a payment plan available? And is there a surcharge for paying by installment?  Are there necessary textbooks or course materials that are not covered in the advertised cost?

10. Is there a refund policy?

Sometimes, even with the best of intentions by both parties, things turn out to not be a great fit.  What is the refund policy?  Can you get your money back if it turns out that the course or trainer is not for you?  Also, what will happen if you are unable to complete the course due to personal reasons?  Can you receive a partial refund, or be credited with time to complete any necessary live training?

Make a list of what is most important to you in a training provider and add more questions as necessary to ensure that you choose a great fit for your development into Life Coaching.

Embarking on a coach training certification is exciting and something to look forward to. By asking these questions at a minimum, you can be sure that you are entering into this stage of your career with your eyes open.