Do you ever know what you need to do, but somehow you find every reason or excuse on the planet not to do it?
I do that all the time! AND I know WHY I do it, but that doesn’t stop me. Do you know how frustrating that is!?! I mean I can tell you that I want [insert result here – more time, more money, less fat, whatever it is] and then I go into this pattern of making excuses in my head. I…can…actually…hear…it – those imaginary devil and angel characters playing out in my head!
Sometimes I just make a cuppa and watch. Those are the good days, on the bad days, I get suckered in and begin believing the devil type character.
Well, I’m going to share the misery and tell you why you do it too, and then I’m going to ask you a question, ok?
You see as humans we’re not designed to stand out. It all goes back to when we lived in tribes and there was safety in numbers. If you were outcast, well that was the worst thing that could happen to you, right? You would be all alone when you came up against that predator, or ran out of food.
So when we try to make a big change like losing weight, or getting a promotion, or starting a business, or entering that talent competition our ancient instincts go into overdrive to try and get you to stay exactly where you are…where it is safe. And the other voice in this argument is the logical brain.
Now if you think of your instincts as a strong-willed 2 year old, and your logical brain as the smart professor then you can probably begin to see how this is going to end, right? Have you ever tried to out-logic a strong-willed 2 year old?…
It’s unpredictable at best.
How do you weigh the odds in your favour then?
Well what I’ve discovered is that the DISCOMFORT of staying where I am needs to outweigh the discomfort of taking that next step.
I remember when we were shipping overseas to start a new life on the other side of the world. I lost count of the number of times that people said I was so BRAVE.
Brave? Brave? Are you kidding? I wasn’t brave. Brave to me would have been staying where I was when I knew I was unhappy.
The discomfort of staying where I was FAR outweighed the potential discomfort of making a mistake.
Which brings me to another common reason for not doing what we need to do – fear of failure.
Why are we so afraid of failing? When did we learn that failing was a bad thing? Was it at school? I honestly couldn’t tell you, and besides that’s not actually the important part.
The IMPORTANT part is changing our relationship with failure because it’s actually not that bad.
And the more I fail, the more I do. In fact, my aim is to now FAIL FAST because I truly believe that there is no failure, only feedback. I am an experiential learner – everything I have learned, I have learned by doing (and more often than not, by failing).
We need to ditch this idea that we get one chance at things and realise that we have infinite chances provided we don’t give up!
So let me ask you…
What are you WILLING to do to get that dream?