by | Jun 6, 2017 | Coach School

I don’t know about you but I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty fierce sales calls in the past. I make an enquiry and before I know what has happened my credit card is melting and they won’t let me off the phone until I have made a purchase. It feels pretty horrible and I always tell myself I’m never going to do that to anyone else.  So I don’t.

There is psychology behind the pressure that is applied to us by salespeople, but I think it is misunderstood. If you understand this psychology, you can have sales discussions in a more authentic way, which is what we want to do as coaches or service providers.

I had a mentor that I respected and continue to respect. I mentioned I had a sales conversation with a prospective client but they were not ready so I let them go. She said,

“No no no, you can’t let the bodies go cold!”

I was horrified. That’s everything I don’t want to stand for and I would never put people in that position. And the truth is, you don’t have to, but there is a fine line…


“Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”

What it comes back to is our psychology.

We are hard-wired to belong and to fit in. Whenever we do something that takes us outside of that, we look to find the balance again.

Do you remember Weebles? “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”

We are all like Weebles, if we try to make a change in any direction, we are hard-wired to come back to centre.


We are also hard-wired to belong.

Why is this? Going back 100,000 years we all lived in tribes and if you stood up to the leader or were different, there was a very real risk you could be outcast. That was a threat to your survival because if you met the sabre tooth tiger you were on your own, or if you ran out of food that was it.

We’re still working with 100,000 year old brains, so modern day situations can have the same effect. Anytime we want to make a big change, for example, lose weight, get a promotion, change jobs, move away or start a family, anything that is a change, means we are going to stand out.

People are going to notice us do something differently and that has the same impact as standing up to the leader of the tribe. So when you become more visible it triggers that same fear mechanism which leads to fight/ flight/ freeze.


This makes us do things that don’t make sense.

We don’t have a real threat to fight so it shows up as procrastination, picking fights with family, ambivalence. This is the fight/ flight/ freeze mechanism in action.

We sabotage the change we want to make, to keep us in homeostasis, like the Weebles.


What can we do?

It is important to know that people are hard-wired to return to the safe option. When you are looking to get an agreement with your prospective client on your connection call you can be aware of the feelings they may have.  

I tell my prospective clients when I’m speaking to them that this is going to happen. I say to them,

“You’re going to get off this call and talk yourself out of working with me. It’s natural, when that happens just notice it and say that’s what Lorraine said would happen.”


Sometimes this will also happen with retained clients. When your client is nearing the end of their current package they may tell you they can’t afford to continue working with you. There is a whole spectrum of arguments about whether money is a real objection or not, however most of us, if we truly want something, will find the money to do it.

It’s more a lack of belief in self that stops us from stepping up and investing in ourselves. It’s more a conversation that we’re having with our self saying

“I’m not worth it. I can’t do it. I’m going to be the one it doesn’t work for.”


There are three things I want to share with you in that situation:-


1. Start finding your 90% clients.

It happens a whole lot less with them.  (If you don’t know who your 90% client is, read this blog post…)


2. Reconnect people with their truth.

  • Why did they start working with you in the first place?
  • What was it they wanted to achieve?
  • How were they not doing that before they had your help?

Remind them that it’s in their DNA to revert backwards to where they were before.

Always do this with integrity. It’s not about manipulation or coercion, it’s not about pressure.

It’s about telling the truth.


3. Follow up with clients you have let go in the past.

If they said they needed a bit of a break then you can check in with them. Some of them might be ready to come back, however some may have gone back into their safe space.


I hope this inspires you to change the way you have conversations and to understand the reasons behind those high pressure sales conversations that appear to be missing the heart part of making a decision in the moment.

Remember it is the same for us, so when we are faced with the opportunity of stepping up and doing something different we are going to feel fear and experience the fight/ flight/ fear mechanism.

Bear that in mind when you’re ready to look for your next up level with your next coach, recognise the feelings and act NOW.


Mindset & Message Mastery will provide you with the tools to understand what is getting in your way, on your way to success. It will help you connect the dots to Confidence, Clarity and, most importantly, Clients.