Common advice that is keeping you from everything you desire
In today’s noisy world of social media and constant ‘advice’ on how to be the best you can be, a lot of it makes my eyes roll and scream at my phone (not ideal when you are in a public place, I can tell you 😳)…
I’ve distilled it down to 3 core messages that I see over and over and over again:
#1 Mindset is everything
#2 Fake it ’til you make it
#3 Get out of your comfort zone
Before I lose you, there is some (i.e. a pinch) truth in each of these statements, but without context, nuance or understanding, they can do more harm than good.
Let me show you what I mean..
I am going to address them in reverse order:
Being uncomfortable is not fatal (even though it may feel like it is in the moment – this is true for me every time I sing in public), so getting out of your comfort zone is something that I do actually encourage.
But let’s put some context into this, shall we…
When your subconscious is literally self-sabotaging your efforts to get out of your comfort zone then you need an alternative.
It might be unconscious eating taking you off your health plan.
It could be procrastinating over making that pitch.
It might be feeling physically ill or exhausted when you go to ask for that raise or promotion.
None of these are going to end in the best way for your uncomfortable efforts, are they?
Discomfort is a great way to grow, but when your in-built safety mechanisms are working TOO well, any discomfort will send you into a cycle of staying exactly where you are.
There’s nothing wrong with you. Your safety systems are doing what they are designed to do.
If you have super-powered safety systems 🦸♀️, there are ways to dial back their efficacy to let you do what you dream of.
“Fake it til you make it”.
I used to believe this. I even have a chapter in my first book with this as its title – embarrassing! 😳
Now let’s get this clear at the outset, faking it until you make it is a form of modelling behaviour.
And modelling behaviour is a proven technique that works to program your mind to be able to take steps that it may have been protecting you from up until now (see above).
The problem with faking it til you make it is when you have a strong physical reaction to what you are faking. For example, if you feel nauseated 🤢 at the thought of behaving in a certain way, then that is a sign that it’s not for you.
Furthermore, by ignoring those strong physical signals, you are causing more problems for yourself and your nervous system further down the line.
So faking it until you make it might be fine for some things and some people… but if you have ever felt that taking this approach takes you out of your authenticity, then you need an alternative.
“Mindset is everything”
This has been thrown around in one form or another for a long, long time.
I see it daily on my social feeds.
My dad used to call it PMA – positive mental attitude.
Surely if mindset was everything, then all we would have to do to achieve anything is make a logical argument for it.
And THAT is easy to do for anything, whether it is right or wrong. (But that’s a whole other conversation that I am not heading into here.)
However, the latest neuroscience and research into the vagus nerve has disproved this notion.
80% of the signals travelling between mind and body are going
from body to brain,
NOT from brain to body.
And from the two previous myths above, I hope you can see that the body is reacting before the mind, which is why it is so hard to think your way out of your behaviour. It is literally happening before you can think about it!
If you have been caught up in any of these myths it is not your fault.
And there is a much more genuine and authentic way.
Join me here to learn more >> www.confidence-catalyst.com
P.S. you’ll leave this training with:
- absolute clarity on your priorities
- a connection to your passion and gut instinct
- a step-by-step plan to confidently achieve your limitless, technicolour life
Don’t miss it. >> www.confidence-catalyst.com
Hi, I’m
Lorraine Hamilton
Early in my coaching career I knew that I needed to get to the heart of my clients’ passions, but the tools that were available to me just weren’t good enough.
So I set about finding a method that was both powerful AND enjoyable for my clients.
I spent years perfecting it from researching many other approaches, research and modalities until I created the core of The Confidence Catalyst Training.
Since then, I have guided hundreds of private clients through it, and I have trained hundreds of other coaches in my approach who have gone on to lead their clients through it.
All report the same thing – this changed their life.
Since then I have updated and expanded the training to what is now included in The Confidence Catalyst™, and my full training, The Authentic Impact Blueprint®.