Do you spend hours arguing with your inner critic and debating or rationalising with it?
You are wasting your time.
Here’s why…
There are 3 A’s that we commonly use to try to quieten our inner critic are:
ARGUING
AFFIRMING
ANGER
Let’s look at each in turn…
ARGUING
When we notice our inner critic piping up, especially if you have spent any time in an environment where critical thinking has been a dominant mode of operating, then our first thought is to counter its argument.
This happens to me all…the…time!
Let me give you an example.
My inner critic does not like me sharing on my social media channels! It really doesn’t. It comes up with all sorts of reasons why I shouldn’t.
Things like…
“You don’t know enough”
“No-one wants to hear from you”
“You have nothing original to say anyway”
“No one is paying attention to you”
“What’s the point, you’re not consistent?”
There is a whole host of counter-arguments and evidence against these statements, and I can spend HOURS arguing my point.
The problem with this type of approach is that your inner critic has an endless supply of counter arguments, which keeps you in a loop of arguing rather than getting on with the thing that triggered the inner critic in the first place.
Essentially the inner critic wins, because all it wants to do is delay or stop you from doing anything it perceives to be risky.
AFFIRMING
Affirming the inner critic means assuming that we are on the wrong track.
Your inner critic is not your voice of wisdom.
Your inner critic is also not your motivator.
Many women report that they like having their inner critic around because they feel that if they are not there berating them to get stuff done, that suddenly they will turn into couch potatoes with no drive.
My work with my clients helps them to differentiate between the voice of the inner critic and their deep wisdom so they no longer defer to the voice that is keeping them playing small.
ANGER
Getting angry at the inner critic can sometimes feel empowering, but actually it is just a waste of precious energy that you could be focusing towards your bigger goals, and once again feeds into what your inner critic actually wants which is for you to delay or avoid the steps that are going to allow you to play a bigger game in your life, career and business.
There you have it – 3 activities to avoid engaging in when you notice your inner critic:
ARGUING
AFFIRMING
Getting ANGRY.
Journal Prompts
Sharing is a huge part of disempowering the inner critic so I encourage you to share some of your insights here to practice moving through the edge of that comfort zone.
Notice your inner critic fire up at the thought, and then notice what happens after you have shared.
About Lorraine
Lorraine’s 15+ years of experience as a Certified Professional Coach plus her background as a radiofrequency engineer has helped her to view personal transformation with an engineering eye – isolating components and creating bespoke formulas or recipes for her clients. It has also helped her to identify patterns and trends that can be applied to larger groups without losing the essence of your uniqueness.
The results are difficult to quantify as my clients shake off generations of inner critics, shoulds, musts and what it has meant to be a woman which leaves them free to step into a whole new realm of playing bigger in life, career and business.
What to do next…
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Don’t Miss This!
As part of my newly updated “What’s Your #1 Results Blocker?” Quiz I have released the same non-negotiable training that all of my clients go through. If you haven’t completed the Quiz then you can do that here – you’ll get instant access to the Values Training upon completion.
About Wisdom Widgets
Wisdom Widgets are a selection of tools, practices and concepts that can help you to tap into your deep inner wisdom as a professional or business woman.
Sadly there is no magic bullet to transformation, despite what many gurus may have you believe. What I have found over and over in my 15+ years of working with thousands of clients is that we need to find the right combination of Wisdom Widgets for YOU.
Wisdom Widgets come from a wide range of sources and modalities that I have mastered over the past decade-and-a-half, and that have helped successful, ambitious women who are still crippled with self-doubt and ‘comparison-itis’. Some of these tools include, but are not limited to:
- Professional Coaching
- Neuro Linguistic Programming
- mBraining
- Positive Psychology
- Cognitive Behaviour Approaches
- Solutions Focused Brief Therapy
- Neuroscience
- Polyvagal Theory
And many more…
