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Taking the ‘I’ Out of Inner Critic

Here’s a superfast way to disconnect from your inner critic…

Even though our inner critic can have a profound and lasting impact on us, it can often be quick and easy to break through its bonds…. …if you know what to do.

There are many tools and practices that I use with my clients for this purpose, this is just one of them.

Today’s Wisdom Widget focuses on taking the ‘I’ out of the inner critic.

When we can begin to see the inner critic as its own character or characters, then we can begin to create some separation from you as an ambitious, successful woman and it.  Because your inner critic’s role is not aligned with your vision for yourself if you have any goals or dreams in mind.

Simply put, your inner critic is a strategy of your safety instinct, to keep you in your comfort zone.

You may wish to have a pen and something to write on nearby to take notes about your experience once it is complete.

Journal Prompts

  1. What is something that your inner critic often says to you?
  2.  What shifts do you notice with that new way of wording it?  Go ahead and note down what feels different.
  3.  When else could you use this rephrasing?
  4.  What could that allow you to do?

Remember to share your experience of the practice and/or your insights below.

About Lorraine

Lorraine’s 15+ years of experience as a Certified Professional Coach plus her background as a radiofrequency engineer has helped her to view personal transformation with an engineering eye – isolating components and creating bespoke formulas or recipes for her clients.  It has also helped her to identify patterns and trends that can be applied to larger groups without losing the essence of your uniqueness.

The results are difficult to quantify as my clients shake off generations of inner critics, shoulds, musts and what it has meant to be a woman which leaves them free to step into a whole new realm of playing bigger in life, career and business.

What to do next…

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Don’t Miss This!

As part of my newly updated “What’s Your #1 Results Blocker?” Quiz I have released the same non-negotiable training that all of my clients go through.  If you haven’t completed the Quiz then you can do that here – you’ll get instant access to the Values Training upon completion.

About Wisdom Widgets

Wisdom Widgets are a selection of tools, practices and concepts  that can help you to tap into your deep inner wisdom as a professional or business woman.

Sadly there is no magic bullet to transformation, despite what many gurus may have you believe.  What I have found over and over in my 15+ years of working with thousands of clients is that we need to find the right combination of Wisdom Widgets for YOU.

Wisdom Widgets come from a wide range of sources and modalities that I have mastered over the past decade-and-a-half, and that have helped successful, ambitious women who are still crippled with self-doubt and ‘comparison-itis’.  Some of these tools include, but are not limited to:

  • Professional Coaching
  • Neuro Linguistic Programming
  • mBraining
  • Positive Psychology
  • Cognitive Behaviour Approaches
  • Solutions Focused Brief Therapy
  • Neuroscience
  • Polyvagal Theory

And many more…

Why It Matters

Coachable People Grow Faster

People who are coachable don’t waste time defending their status quo. They lean into feedback. They turn setbacks into stepping stones. They ask, “What can I learn from this?” rather than, “Why is this happening to me?” This mindset fuels exponential growth—personally and professionally.

Coachability Builds Resilience

When you’re coachable, failure doesn’t define you—it instructs you. You stop fearing mistakes and start using them. In my coaching work, I often see that the most resilient leaders aren’t the ones who never fall. They’re the ones who fall, learn, and rise again—smarter and stronger than before.

Coachable Leaders Attract Trust

People follow those who are willing to grow. Coachable leaders are more transparent, adaptable, and self-aware. They don’t pretend to have all the answers. Instead, they create environments where learning is safe and encouraged. That fosters trust, collaboration, and high performance.

The Inner Work of Coachability

Coachability isn’t just about actions—it’s about mindset. The foundation of a coachable mindset includes:

  • Self-awareness: You can’t grow what you won’t acknowledge. Coachable people are committed to seeing themselves clearly. They reflect regularly, ask tough questions, and welcome different perspectives.

  • Emotional agility: Feedback can stir up emotions—defensiveness, embarrassment, even shame. Coachable people feel those emotions but don’t let them rule. They pause, process, and then engage with intention.

  • Ownership: Blame blocks growth. Coachable individuals take radical responsibility for their lives. Even when external factors play a role, they ask, “What part can I own?”

  • Curiosity: Coachability thrives in curiosity. Instead of clinging to “I already know,” coachable people live in “What else might be true?” This openness creates space for insight and innovation.

Coachability in Action

So what does being coachable actually look like in a coaching relationship?

It looks like showing up on time—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

It looks like coming prepared, having reflected on prior conversations, progress, and roadblocks.

It looks like being honest, even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable.

It looks like taking aligned action between sessions—not just consuming insight but applying it.

It looks like being willing to slow down, examine patterns, and challenge limiting beliefs.

It looks like staying present when challenged—and being just as present when celebrated.

It’s not always easy. But it’s always worth it.

How to Cultivate Coachability

Even if coachability doesn’t come naturally, it can be developed. Here are a few practical ways to start:

1. Assume There’s Always Something to Learn

Even if you’ve been in your role for 10 years or feel like you’ve “heard it all before,” stay open. Ask, “What’s here for me to learn today?”

2. Separate Feedback From Identity

Feedback is information, not a verdict on your worth. When you detach your ego from critique, you gain access to truth.

3. Create Reflection Rituals

Whether it’s journaling, meditation, or post-session debriefs, build space into your routine for processing. Insight without reflection rarely becomes transformation.

4. Ask Better Questions

Instead of saying, “Did I do that right?” try, “What am I not seeing?” or “What would it look like to challenge this assumption?”

5. Take Action, Not Just Notes

Coachable people don’t just collect insights—they implement them. Pick one thing from each coaching session to put into practice, and follow through.

The Coachable Client = The Empowered Client

 

In my coaching practice, I don’t promise answers—I promise a partnership.

But that partnership only works when you’re engaged and willing.

The most powerful coaching relationships are co-created. I’ll bring the questions, reflections, and challenges—but you bring the commitment.

Ultimately, coaching is not about changing who you are. It’s about unblocking the parts of you that already know how to lead, love, and live more fully. That unblocking?

It begins with being coachable.

So whether you’re an executive, entrepreneur, creative, or simply a human committed to growth, ask yourself:

  • Am I willing to learn?
  • Am I willing to be seen?
  • Am I willing to be challenged?
  • And—most importantly—am I willing to change?

Because if you are, everything becomes possible.

mentor coaching

Lorraine Hamilton is an ICF-accredited Coach, registered Coach Mentor, creator of the SWITCH Coaching System®. She has almost 20 years of experience in Professional Coaching.

Check out these ways to work with her: