The need for validation: Why women seek praise
First, many women are taught from a young age that their worth is based on their appearance and their achievements. As a result, they may feel that they need to prove themselves to others.
Additionally, women are often socialized to be caring and nurturing, which can make them more sensitive to the opinions of others.
Lastly, many women have experienced sexism or discrimination in their lives, which can make them feel like they’re not good enough.
Ultimately, the need for validation is a personal issue that each woman needs to explore and address on her own. But it’s important to remember that we don’t need others to make us feel good about ourselves. We can find our own sense of self-worth by looking within ourselves and cultivating our own inner strength. And when we learn to love and accept ourselves, we won’t need others’ approval anymore.
Where does the need for validation come from in women?
Most women are socialized from a young age to seek validation from others.
This need for approval can be seen in many different areas of life, but it is especially prevalent among women in stem and tech fields and other male-dominated environments such as finance or motorsport.
Unfortunately, seeking validation from others can be dangerous in the long run.
There are several reasons why women may feel the need to seek praise from their peers, but some of the most common reasons are a lack of self-confidence and a fear of being judged.
When we rely too much on the opinions of others, we put ourselves in a position where our happiness and self-worth are dependent on outside factors.
This can be a recipe for disaster because it is impossible to control what other people think or say about us.
What are the problems with seeking validation externally?
Is external validation harmful?
Fostering Internal Validation
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
Spend time with people who build you up and make you feel good about yourself.
Practice self-compassion, which means accepting and respecting ourselves, even when we make mistakes.
Look for external validation less often. This may mean seeking out compliments less, or being less affected by negative feedback. (For more tips on this see this article.)
Focus on the things that you do well. This can be anything from your work to your hobbies. When you focus on your strengths, it becomes easier to feel good about yourself.
Learn how to give yourself approval. This can be done by setting realistic standards and accepting yourself for who you are.
Remember that no-one is perfect and that it is okay to make mistakes.
Focus on the things that you are good at and appreciate your accomplishments, even if they don’t receive rave reviews from others.
Remember that we are all different. What works for one person may not work for another. It is important to find what makes you feel good and to stick with it.
Remember that you are enough, just the way you are.
First, we can start by recognizing our own accomplishments. Give yourself credit where it’s due, and don’t be afraid to celebrate your successes.
Second, surround yourself with a supportive community of women. Find mentors and role models who will encourage you to reach your full potential. (My group coaching program is a great place to start!)
And finally, don’t be afraid to speak up. Share your stories and your experiences, and be a voice for change.
Together, we can create a more positive environment for women in male dominated environments such as business, STEM fields, finance and motorsport to name just a few.